Week Ending 22nd October.
In October I was scrambling to get ready for my workshop. I think that this particular weekend had the additional pressure of taking a builder-friend to check out the Hut which I have on a little piece of garden I inherited from my mother when she died a few years ago. My aim is to hold Forest Bathing retreats there but just now I am so busy with the workshops in London I can't start thinking about that. However there is the little hut and it needs some repairs which I wanted to get done before the winter, so I took my Builder-Friend over to check out what it will need.
Needless to say there was no time to do anything in the way of writing a blog that week, so I am keeping the discipline of weekly blogs by copying another of the articles I wrote on Happiness as a Linkedin Newsletter in 2022. This one is about an experience of what it can be like when you are consciously 'Hunting and Harvesting Mutually Joyful Encounters.'
HAPPINESS - H - An Example
DurgaMata Chaudhuri
Ultimate Stress Solutions is a Community Interest Company. We offer Empowering Workshops and online Programmes to reduce stress, build resilience and increase Happiness.
When I began writing this Linkedin Newsletter, about a month ago, I set out with a simple plan to use the letters of the word HAPPINESS as a mnemonic to explore some of the best strategies for reducing stress, building resilience and (as a result of reducing the clouds of stress which obscure our innate source of inner joy and peace) - increasing happiness.
The letter H stands for many things, two of which are - Humour and Helping others. My son Bijon Roy uses the phrase 'Hunting and Harvesting Joyful Encounters' as a conscious strategy for increasing happiness not only for oneself but also for others - and he looks for opportunities to put this concept into practise every day.
Since starting my Newsletter I have found myself looking out for situations which invite this kind of engagement and enjoying the mutual happiness that is shared when we succeed in connecting with someone unexpectedly, usually someone who we have never met before - from heart to heart in this way. A nice example I experienced recently was during the train-strike last week.
Services were much reduced and stress-levels higher than usual as a result. Returning from the city one day I used the Victoria Line underground train to Vauxhall, expecting to find mainline rail services to my home station reduced - and perhaps have to wait longer than usual for a train - only to find that Vauxhall station was completely closed. I would have to go by bus and take at least three buses. I wasn't even sure of which route to take.
In a state of heightened stress I asked the driver of a bus to Wimbledon, which was at least roughly in the direction I needed, how I might get to Putney. (I knew there was a bus I could get from Putney to the station near my home, where I had left my car.) She said I should get on this bus and change at Clapham Junction. Immediately the lady behind me in the queue said, 'You'll need to take the 337. Get off at the stop in Clapham by Barclays Bank.' She gave me the warmest smile. She was spontaneously and unconsciously playing the 'Hunting and Harvesting Joyful Encounters' game and it made a huge difference to how I was feeling. My stress simply melted away with her smile. Feeling considerably more confident and positive, I boarded the bus.
I sat close to the front of the bus and, as we progressed towards Clapham, I noticed how heavy the traffic was. I noticed how difficult it was to manoeuvre the big double-decker into the correct lanes for turning left or right, to follow the route and what skill it took to pull in to the pavement at just the right point at each bus-stop. I was spontaneously practising mindfulness, completely 'in the moment' and aware of where I was, not only what I was doing thinking and feeling but also unusually aware of how skilled our bus-drivers had to be - and how skilled this particular diver was. I also noticed how patient she was with passengers - several of whom were unfamiliar with the route and as stressed as I had been, some of whom were distinctly irritable.
Irritability and impatience are common symptoms of stress. Driving a bus must be a very good 'mindfulness activity.' You need to be concentrating at every moment - on where you are and what you are doing - as well as on the movements of all the other vehicles around. Then at each stop you need to be aware of the actions and needs of all the passengers.
When I reached my stop, I wanted to speak to the driver but the bus was too crowded, so I left from the door in the middle and then joined the crowd of people queuing to board the bus. I jumped on after the last one and said, 'I just wanted to thank you for doing such a brilliant job. I've was noticing how heavy the traffic is and how skilful you are in your driving and how patient you are with everyone. Thank you for doing such a great job.'
The driver was absolutely delighted to receive my appreciation. She thanked me and, as I jumped back off the bus and she pulled away, she blew me kisses. I reciprocated. My heart was singing with happiness - and I guess hers was as well. Such a simple game to play - 'Hunting and Harvesting Joyful Encounters' but it can make such a difference.
We are all connected. We are all part of each other. Our moods are contagious and if we want to see a happier and more peaceful world, we can start here and now, by choosing the thoughts we encourage in our mind and which actions we choose to take. We humans really do have the power to create heaven or hell - for our own lives and for the wider world around us.
This experience had its genesis in the kindness and oneness of the elderly black lady behind me in the queue at Vauxhall who had given me such precise details of how to get the bus I needed - and in the warmth of her smile. Her action had melted my own stress and feeling of irritability caused by the station being closed - and it had taken me into my own heart of oneness. It reminded me of the 'Hunting and Harvesting Joyful Encounters' Game. It awakened my own conscious awareness of the people around me, so that I noticed the skill and and patience of our driver - and her surprise and happiness when I commented on it.
Thank you for reading my article. Do share your own examples of how mindfulness and random positive encounters with strangers may have improved your da