Week Ending 12th November
On Saturday 11th November I took part in the Palestine-Solidarity March in London. Like most people, I have been deeply shaken by recent events in the Middle East and I often find it hard to sleep as I am constantly aware that the Palestinians in Gaza are suffering the most horrific bombardment. At every moment people are dying or being buried alive. Over 11,000 people have been killed, half of them children – and we in the UK, like those in the USA and several other countries which are supporting Israel, are complicit in the genocide which is happening right in front of our eyes.
I created a poster which showed that I, like most of the people marching to call for a Cease Fire, was not ‘taking sides.’ We are against any attack. We were all shocked by the massacres of 7th October – but responding with this kind of revenge and rage – will not bring the dead Israeli’s back or enable the hostages to be released. At this time the friends of Israel need to be offering wise counsel, not adding fuel to the fire.
The reverse of my Poster read – One People, One World, One Love.
The previous Sunday I had been visiting family in the Midlands and I took part in the Birmingham March. I had made a similar Poster, but half the size. I met some wonderful people - Muslims, Jews and Christians and many who were not 'wearing their religion on their sleeve' - There were people of all ages and backgrounds. The atmosphere was serious, calling for an immediate Ceasefire, but more loving than aggressive.
I headed home in the evening by bus, feeling more hopeful and not so raw in my own grief, just by being able to share what I was thinking and feeling with other, like-minded souls. I was so tired when I reached my stop that I forgot to 'look back' and I left my poster on the bus. I had put a lot of thought and time into making it, so I felt sad, but I chose to think of it as an opportunity rather than a loss. (That's where a mindfulness attitude, which notices our thoughts and feelings is useful. We can choose how to respond to setbacks, rather than being daunted by them.)
On Monday I was editing the Eventbrite listing for my 2024 Mindfulness-Joy Silk-Painting Workshops.
On Tuesday I drove over to Richard Hammond's Workshop 'The Smallest Cog.' It's near Hereford and I knew of it because of the television series which follows the way he began this project and all the twists and turns over the first few years. The third series is showing at the moment. My car needs some repairs and I wanted to at least get a quotation from The Smallest Cog. I will be receiving a grant towards the costs of my workshops next year and repairing the car is one of the top priorities. I would rather give my money to people I like - who share my values - and get the work done by people who are expert, so I went there to get a quotation. On the way back I climbed Little Malvern which was a great experience, although the wind was strong and bitterly cold at the top.
On Wednesday I went to stay the night with a close friend. He has recently got engaged, so it set me thinking a lot about relationships. I've been watching several YouTubes and Ted Talks on the subject since then, reflecting on love and how to improve my own relationships, as well as giving him my best advice. This is one of my favourite:
https://youtu.be/-uazFBCDvVw?si=W8OKBhfc4eGFlH6k
Using a scientific approach and following couples for some 20 years, they found we need three things for a happy, stable relationship. The way that a conversation begins, is crucial. Negative emotions get stuck and the balance of positive over negative emotions, during conflict, is crucial. A balance in which poisitive is higher than negative interactions is important. Positive 1 to negative 0.8, might sound good, but it resulted in unhappy relationships, while a balance of five to one positive to negative resulted in a strong and enduring relationships. Three things are essential in order to resolve a conflict without harming the relationship. These are - physiological calm, trust and commitment. Those who were gentle with one an other and reassured one another created a psychologically calm environment. Why is calmness important? because when they are calm they can listen, they have access to humour and are able to reflect on their response. But when they are stressed, they are not able to be empathetic or listen to the other person and they tend to react rather than respond in a considered way. Much here which is relevant to our workplace relationships and communities. Fascinating. The magic also comes from building trust. Mutually trusting relationships result in closeness. Both partners are thinking about the other person and what they may like or need. They have both themselves and their partner in mind. They look for ways in which they can support their partner, or show that they care. They are patient when their partner is not responsive. Lack of trust results in loneliness, and that can easily lead to them finding emotional support with on someone else.
Inevitably a relationship will face challenges from time to time. When things aren't going well, if in your head you are cherishing your partner, with loving and affectionate feelings, feeling gratitude and appreciation for having them in your life, it leads to loyalty. But if at that time, if you are holding negative comparisons in your head, then it results in disillusion and betrayal.
From the perspective of Mindfulness, this is very significant. We need to develop the capacity to observe our thoughts and feelings in order to develop this kind of trust and commitment. On a wider scale, it could be the basis for some mediation between communities. The bombing in Gaza must stop sometime and let's hope that the World Community will support Israel and Palestine in finding a solution which works for them both, and offers both communities a safe and secure co-existence, either as one or two 'states' between the river and the sea where both communities can thrive with mutual respect and dignity.
On Thursday I returned to London and was thrilled to attend my friend ANgel Tarpov's first London Concert Recital, in a Church in Islington. It was epic.
I had such a busy week that I couldn't start creating my new Poster for the March until Friday - and it took me all day. Since I had been talking to people in the March on Sunday in Birmingham, about what my flags-and heart poster symbolised, I put it into words on the other side.
The March was not about taking sides - just calling for a ceasefire and to stop the genocide. Lots of Jews and Jewish groups were there. Tremendous sense of love, compassion, oneness and positivity. Grannies and families -all ages and backgrounds simply asking our government to call for a ceasefire instead of being complicit in the death and destruction.
My poster had two sides. Ukrainian, Israeli and Palestinian flags - hearts and tears, but no words on one side. Love for all. Grief for all suffering. The other side is One People, One Word and One Love.
War is obscene and this particular war is just violent revenge on helpless civilians. The Israeli government and extremists, the generals in the Israeli army, are equating Palestinians as animals, viewing them all as responsible for the attack on 7th October and even quoting a genocidal passage from their scriptures.
It took me all day yesterday to make the posters, so I got them laminated before the March. I’m sure there will be other times in the future when I’ll need them.
My son travelled up by coach from Birmingham and we met up near Victoria Station. There were so many people on the March that it took more than three hours for him to reach where I was standing. It was inspiring to stand with my poster and engage with hundreds of the people who were passing, exchanging smiles and greetings. Many people stopped to take photos of my posters or to chat. It’s so important to have a way to express our feelings peacefully and make our voices heard.
When my son reached me, he carried the poster and I played my Pipe and Tabor for much of the rest of the route. We thanked the police for the excellent job they were doing. They confirmed our experience - that this March was good-natured and positive. The following video is a series of interviews with people who were on the March - and their experiences were much the same.
https://youtu.be/IXjiBidu9yY?si=b8N7oNng2-DpS9Rs
Do listen to this song and share these links.
A few days later, I found that the great Marsh Family have composed a new song. I spent hours that morning, sharing the link on my WhatsApp.
https://youtu.be/tLnYlnn1js8?si=MoWUVPMMT3C5UU7Q
Where do we go from here - is there anything I can do other than join in the Marches?
Events in Gaza and my experiences on the March have been in my heart and on my mind all week. I have held them 'before God' in my meditations and they have motivated me to become more serious about my meditation and include more time for prayers for peace. I am also inspired to link up with and support some of the many organisations in which Jews and Palestinians are working together for peace - and to reach out to both Jews and Muslims, Synagogues and Mosques, in London, to offer my services in Mindfulness Training as there will be an even greater need for anti-stress strategies at this time.
Jews and Arabs Together
This is part of an article about some of twelve organisations in Israel which are working to build harmony between the communities. https://www.positive.news/world/groups-working-for-israel-palestine-peace/
...Meanwhile, Hamas’ massacre of civilians touched on fundamental Jewish fears stemming from the trauma of generations of persecution, and evoked collective memories of the history of pogroms in Europe and of the Holocaust.
Inter-communal violence that erupted in May 2021 had also served as a chilling warning: Back then, Israeli police had raided and restricted access to al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, touching off hostilities between the Israeli military and Hamas in Gaza. Violent confrontations broke out in mixed Israeli cities, injuring hundreds of people, both Jewish and Arab; rioting destroyed homes, synagogues, mosques, schools, and businesses; and at least three people were killed.
After 7 October, Jewish and Palestinian activists in Israel feared their communities would once again be convulsed. The number of people killed in the Hamas attack reached more than 1,400 - making it the deadliest day in Israel’s history – and around 240 people were taken as hostages to Gaza, according to Israeli authorities. The death toll from the Israeli military’s bombardment has also spiralled, and is now over 11,000 according to the Health Ministry in Gaza, which is governed by Hamas.
A little over one month since the beginning of hostilities, the feared inter-communal violence in Israel is yet to materialise. During a recent visit to several communities in northern Israel, dozens of activists The New Humanitarian spoke to described still feeling a pervasive sense of dread. But they were once again mobilising to try to salvage and carve out space for a vision of a more just and inclusive Israeli society for Jews and Palestinians.
That was the aim of a gathering of nearly 400 Jews and Palestinians in an event hall on 6 November in Baqa al-Gharbiyye, an Arab city in northern Israel bordering the West Bank that is home to around 30,000 people.
“We are here with a simple message: We are determined to work together, Jews and Arabs, even – especially – at this time!,” Alon-Lee Green, founding national director of 'Standing Together' an Arab-Jewish advocacy and activist group, declared from the stage as the crowd clapped.
The crowd continued to clap and cheer as each of the five Jewish and Arab speakers called for the return of all the hostages held in Gaza by Hamas, for the protection of innocent civilians, and for continuing to work together for equality between Arabs and Jews in Israel. Several of the speakers also called for an end to Israel’s war in Gaza, a highly controversial position in Israel’s current political climate but one that had wide support at the gathering.
The evening was one of a dozen or so similar meetings between Arabs and Jews, organised quickly throughout Israel over the past two weeks, largely through the efforts of Standing Together.
As the speeches concluded, the organisers called on the participants to raise posters they had been provided. Purple and white, the signs read, in Hebrew and Arabic, “Standing Together” and “Where there’s struggle, there’s hope”.
I am reminded of the research I did on love and relationships earlier in the week, in response to my friend's engagement. For a happy, enduring marriage, partners need a balance of five positive interactions to one negative one. We need Calm, Trust and Commitment.
I guess for our society to heal from all the division that has been stirred up recently, amplified by a media which always tends to be skewed towards the negative. (Bad news sells better than good news.) At this time we need all the positive news we can find, so do share this blog and come on the next March to add your own voices to the call for an immediate Cease Fire.
If any schools would like me to come in and give a talk or assembly on this issue, do contact me. Email durgamataoflondon1@gmail.com
Peace does not mean the absence of war.
Peace means the presence of harmony,
Love, oneness and satisfaction.
Peace means a flood of love
In the world-family.
Sri Chinmoy
A Heart of Peace, 1997
