Week Ending 28th January - part 1.
The photograph is at the top of Thorpe Cloud - a mini-mountain in Derbyshire and one of my favourite spots on earth.
Created with GIMP
In my Autobiographical book (above, available on Kindle) I write -
I am an entrepreneur, and my work is all about reducing stress. I started this when I retired from teaching (Religious Education and Art) – following a strong inner ‘calling’ to take what time remains to me to ‘make a positive difference’ – to use my skills and experience to make this world of ours just a little bit happier and more peaceful, by sharing what I have learned over the years, both in my outer life-experience and through more than fifty years of serious mindfulness and meditation practise.
The fact is that this life of ours is short. Our life is finite. The Buddha, who was a poet as well as a great spiritual giant, expresses this beautifully when he said -
My view is that we are all part of each other and part of the entire universe. How to 'make a positive difference?' This depends on what we understand as 'positive and negative.'
What is the difference between good and bad, right and wrong? In my view, since we are all part of each other, part of the entire universe, the goal of life is oneness and anything which brings us together in genuine oneness, recognising and respecting the truth, that we are part of each other, increasing love and harmony between individuals, will strengthen love, peace and harmony in the entire world. The state of the human world - and the devastation of the planet, War, Global Warming and Pollution, for example, is a reflection of the 'general standard' of humanity. Anything which divides us from others, anything which harms others or our planet is 'not good.' I call it 'undivine,' while anything which brings us into balance and harmony bringing inner peace and genuine happiness, is 'good' or 'divine.' That's my philosophy.
What can we do, in the brief time that we are alive, to make the world just a bit happier and more peaceful?
Firstly we can look to our own consciousness, making spiritual progress ourselves - growing stronger in our capacity to love oneself and others, to experience inner peace and happiness, will raise our consciousness and make the world just that bit happier and more peaceful. I agree with Jack Canfield that we can't give more love to others than we give to ourselves. Indeed I believe we can't receive more love from others than we give to ourselves. We need to consciously engage in spiritual practises such as minfulness and meditation which open us to receiving more 'divine qualities' such as love, peace and joy. Progress begins with self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-love. We can work on this at the same time as we practise self-giving and service, seeking to see and respond to the best in each other - to share our genuine love, kindness and oneness with the others. This is how we 'raise consciousness' and 'make a positive difference.'
Consciousness is contagious. We affect each other on a subconscious level. If we are around people who are happy, people who are in a good consciousness, then they 'lift us up.' If we are in a good consciousness, then we lift up those around us. But if we are around people who are in a low consciousness, then they will 'pull us down' and when we are in a 'low' mood, we have a negative effect on those around us.
We can't affect others directly. The only power we have is to change ourselves and choose actions which support this 'divine principle' of oneness - love, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, calmness, generosity and gratitude. This, I believe, is what brings peace and happiness.
This is the root of my business, Ultimate Stress Solutions. If we feel that we are in danger, we respond instinctively with 'the stress response.' Our physical body prepares to fight or escape from the situation. Think of the emotions we feel at that time - fear, anger, insecurity, jealousy, greed, suspicion, blame and meanness for example. These are typical 'low consciousness' emotions which lead inevitably to arguments and fighting. I view toxic stress as a major cause of division and something that does not only undermine our own physical and mental health, but also destroys our inner peace and happiness and has a detrimental effect on everyone around us. So that is why my work focusses on reducing stress and building resilience, so that we can take the ups and downs of life in our stride, or as Jon Kabat-Zinn puts it so well, learn how to 'surf the waves of stress' which relentlessly 'roll in on our lives.'
I love the message that the contemporary Hindu Monk, Gaur Gopal Das, when he compares the trace of our heart-beat and life. When you look at an electrocardiogram, you see the spikes and troughs of our heart-beat. The only time there is a flat line is when someone is dead. Peaks and troughs are signs of life. Similarly, in life we have good days and bad days, highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows, blessings and difficulties. That's life. To imagine there is a way for us to have 'sunshine' all the time, is unrealistic. It is not recognising or accepting reality. We need to practise spiritual surrender, which is when we are able to welcome and embrace every experience, with a cheerful attitude. That's the secret of real happiness in my view.
Heartbeat Monitor Concept
My spiritual Teacher has said that in God's Eyes both success and failure are equally important. Success encourages us but failure teaches us and makes us strong. Life is about progress, and it is this dynamic of highs and lows which enables us to grow.
When I can work on my own spiritual consciousness, embracing the problems as they arise and feeling genuine love and respect for myself, then I have something to give. I can reach out to share this love with others. My responsibility begins with my relationship with myself. Since I have been practising meditation and mindfulness and consciously working to put spiritual principles in practise all my life, I am not only qualified as an accredited Mindfulness Teacher but also inwardly strong enough to feel and share this genuine feeling of love for all, using the structure of the workshops which I have designed to be most effective in reducing stress. This is the origin of my Mindfulness-Joy Silk-Painting workshops which are the current focus of my work.
Last weekend I was 'cat-sitting' for my honorary 'Cellist Son' and on Monday I had an important Zoom. A friend who lived nearby invited me to come to her house and take the Zoom-call there, as she has good wifi. (We met in 2017, when we were both selected to be part of a year-long EU funded business training programme, called 'Inspiring Women.' We were two of just 25 Aspiring Business Women selected from the whole of Greater London. It was a real privilege and honour to take part in the Programme and not only taught us much about business, but also created many enduring friendships like ours.)
The zoom-wifi arrangement went well, and while at her house I was delighted to see the beautiful fragrant 'cushions' that she is making to support health and wellbeing. She asked my advice on the wording she was using for a little card which will go with these. I asked why she was writing them by hand, rather than printing out some which would look more professional.
My friend is at an early stage in her business and had to deliver this order next day, before she has had the opportunity to create a more professional card. She doesn't have experience in working with any of the computer art programmes, so had not been able to do the work herself. I asked if she would like me to create something on Canva.
My workshop was approaching fast, on the coming Sunday and I had a load of things to do, but in keeping with my belief in the importance of love and oneness, of valuing and nurturing our friendships, I was inspired to make her a card which could be printed, rather than just help her with the wording. She made me a delicious lunch and then we continued to work together until she was happy with the result. It took a few hours as I was not 'leading' this process, but simply following her instructions, so it was a great exercise in oneness, patience and surrender and our time together was joyful and creative. The only snag was that she needed to have the printed cards by that evening and there were no suitable printers in her area.
Since the whole idea of making the cards like this, rather than hand-writing them, was my idea, I assured her that I could go to a printer who I know, in my part of London, and get them done there. Time was moving on, so I jumped on a train which links her area in the North of London with mine which is in the South West. While on the train I continued to work on the laptop. She had texted the precise size required to me. I created a new 'canvas' the required size and pasted the design onto it, then scaling the layer of design to the required size to fit the new canvas and copying the background colour from the design onto the canvas before flattening the image, then saving it and mailing the design to the Printer in advance. I had just enough time to do this before we reached my stop.
The cards came out beautifully and I phoned my friend from the Print-Shop to tell her that I now had them in my hand. By that time it was 5.30pm. The print-shop was closing and I had to get home for another zoom call at 6.00. My friend thought I would be jumping straight on the train again to head back to her part of town, but I said no. I had to go home and feed my own kitties as well as attending the zoom meeting. She said, 'So you'll be here by about 8.00?' I said it would probably be later than that. She said, 'Will you be here before 10.00?' I assured her that before ten she would have the cards in her hand.
I started the Zoom-Meeting on my phone, on the bus, but it was not long before I was home and able to switch to watching from my laptop. It was an inspiring question and answer session for a business-group I belong to. and listening to others inspired me to think about the importance of raising the profile of my business. Before Covid I did some training as a speaker and I was really serious about sharing my philosophy and making my work better known. I had taken part in some Podcasts. But so much had happened since then that I had neglected that side of my work.
After feeding the kitties and making myself a nice cup of tea, I went back on my laptop and found the site that had been recommended during the Meeting - https://www.matchmaker.fm and started to try to set up my 'profile.'
I was still working on that when the phone rang. It was my friend, asking how close I was to her house. I was still at home, writing on my laptop. I was so focussed on this new task that I had not been watching the time and it was nearly 9,00pm. She was shocked as it takes well over an hour to get across London to her district by car, and even longer by public transport. I apologised profusely, closed my laptop and headed for the bus.
How to balance all the different areas of business-life is such a difficult job? How to keep all the 'plates spinning' one of which is our visibility and how well we communicate our message - and another of which is how we deliver our workshops, while still another is how we nurture our relationships on a human level and don't cause our friends stress through over promising and then not keeping agreements - such as not being punctual? This is something I struggle with.
This month I joined another business-related group, this time paying for training in how to market the 'Coaching' corner of my work. In one of the early exercises we were required to reflect on our strengths and weaknesses. Lack of punctuality is one of my most obvious weaknesses. I have a habit of thinking I can fit more things in to any space of time than is realistic, and since I am also an expert in mindfulness and remaining (inwardly as well as outwardly) calm, I don't let being late stress me out. But it can easily add stress to other people's lives as it had on this occasion.
I was feeling quite anxious as I phoned my friend, to arrange to meet up, when I was on the last stage of my journey back to her home-district. It was nearly 10.30pm and I knew she is a morning person, going to bed early and getting up at the crack of dawn. Tomorrow in particular she had to make an early start to deliver this order of her 'anchor-pod' samples. What sort of friend was I to put her under this kind of stress?
When I jumped off the bus, she was waiting at the stop. I fully expected (and deserved) a scolding. She is the kind of person who speaks her mind and does not suffer fools. But to my surprise she gave me a big hug. She thanked me for going to the trouble of making such beautiful cards for her product and said that we always need to remember that while we human beings may be on the path to spiritual perfection and stilll have a long way to go.
I love the way that there are important commonalities at the heart of all the great religions. The Goal of Life in Hinduism, is the concept of 'God Realisation' which is also called 'Self-Realisation' as the great Masters teach that in essence we are all divine. We come from God, and are returning to God, to experience and appreciate the awesome beauty and majesty of Creation - which is who we in essence are. This ultimate oneness with 'God' is described in Buddhism as Nirvana, the ultimate dissolution of self into a state of infinite peace, light and bliss. Many of the great Sufi Muslim Luminaries describe this experience of oneness, in the bliss of cosmic Love, while Jesus, at the heart of the Sermon on the Mount, calls for us to 'be perfect as the Father' which is another way of saying the same thing. The religions are different responses to the same reality. They are all valid routes to the same Goal.
This tells us clearly two things. The first is that we are not perfect. We are not yet 'one with God.' This is the place where we learn and grow, so it is absolutely natural that we will see evidence that we still need to learn and grow. If we were already perfect we would not have taken birth here on this planet. So rather than being upset when we see 'the face of evil' we can understand and accept it. What we can focus on is delighting when we see evidence of progress, that we are all learning, that we are growing in love and oneness.
This insight, this 'mindset' also makes it clear that we are not stuck in 'evil' but can progress. We can become more perfect and we are all on a journey towards that kind of perfection. We have the capacity to grow and change, to improve in every area of our lives. And it is when we consciously embrace this reality and strive to travel on this quest, that life becomes most meaningful and satisfying.
Since we are none of us perfect, it is important to appreciate each other's good qualities and forgive each other when we slip up.
When it came to this friendship, thanks to my friend's insight and generosity of spirit, our friendship grew stronger as a result of the day's events and I headed 'home' for my Cat-Sitting Job with a heart full of love and gratitude.
The experience also reinforced in my mind the importance of punctuality as well as the importance of seeking opportunities to share my message and raise the profile of my business, to give more Talks and share in more Podcasts. We can't succeed in anything on our own - and to 'make a positive difference' I need to expand my audience and reach more people.
I will not 'conclude' this blog as usual, with any more poems today, since I have used several during the 'journey' of writing this first entry for week ending 28th January. It is the first of several blogs I wish to write about the past few days, as this has been an eventful week culminating in my January Workshop. But the others will have to wait until another day.
Love and Peace
DurgaMata