For Sunday 31st March 2024
To be completed
After demonstrating two styles of silk-painting, everyone starts to set out their own work station.
Most of the participants were Ukrainian refugees - this is the group I mostly work with, but I always like there to be a mix of people and I am especially keen to connect with other refuugee communities.
The refugee who created this scarf is an Artist in her own right. She used her own technique of pleating to create an absolute masterpiece of a silk scarf. Now I'm impatient to try this style out for myself.
We conclude with a vegetarian feast.
There are lots more photos from the meal but I am just sharing a few for now.
When all the scarves have been steamed, washed, dripped dry and ironed, we like to have a photograph together. Then I fold each one - and tie with a ribbon chosen by the creator. It's a way to personally 'touch each one with love' and remind each person that whenever they feel stressed or upset, they can hold this silk scarf and allow it to remind them of this happy day and all the strategies we used to reduce stress in this workshop. As well as being a beautiful unique piece of 'wearable art' it anchors the learning.
This is from his website -
What Is Compassionate Inquiry®?
Dr. Gabor Maté developed the Compassionate Inquiry® psychotherapy approach, which reveals what lies beneath the appearance we present to the world.
Using the Compassionate Inquiry system, both the individual and therapist unveil the level of consciousness, mental climate, hidden assumptions, implicit memories and body states that form the real message that words both express and conceal.
Through the therapist’s use of the Compassionate Inquiry approach, the client can recognize the unconscious dynamics that run their lives and how to liberate themselves from them.
“The purpose of the Compassionate Inquiry is to drill down to the core stories people tell themselves – to get them to see what story they are telling themselves unconsciously; what those beliefs are, where they came from; and guide them to the possibility of letting go of those stories, or letting go of the hold those stories have on them …
That’s what Compassionate Inquiry is.”
~ Dr. Gabor Maté
I would like to join one of your Programmes. I am not sure which would be most suitable and I would also need a bursary of some kind. If you can share my 'story' with Gabor, I think he might be interested in helping me as my company is a (not for profit) Community Interest Company, and I work mostly with refugees and students.
I have been following Gabor's work for years and Compassionate Inquiry informs some of the strategies I am already using.
I am an accredited Mindfulness Teacher, member of the Complementary Medical Association and a Happiness Coach. Over the past several years (since retiring from teaching) I have established a business working in Health and Wellbeing.
The Seven Steps to Happiness
Before Covid I created a Programme called The Seven Steps to Happiness which I delivered from home, as a two or three day (full time) retreat. It was making a really positive difference to the lives of participants, who loved it and I was working on expanding this to a five day event, (in collaboration with sound meditation and yoga) to be held for a larger group of people at different venues around the UK and beyond - when Covid arrived.
I took The Seven Steps to Happiness online, as a 9-week Programme and ran it four times in 2020 and 2021 - which was good but not as powerful as the face to face events. So as the lockdowns eased I felt that people really needed the face to face events again. Stress and Depression were on the rise and I wanted to use my experience to 'make a stronger difference.'
I took the best strategies from The Seven Steps and wove them into a one-day event for 15 to 20 people. I needed a venue not too far from my home (as there are three car-loads of materials to take) and I needed a venue which includes a garden, as Forest Bathing is one of the strategies in the Programme.
I found a Church Hall which is ideal but this was booked regularly on Saturdays and in use on Sunday mornings. As a result the workshops - which are monthly - start at 3pm on the last Sunday of the Month, and end around 8pm. I call them Mindfulness-Joy Silk-Painting 'mini-reteats.' They include Mindfulness training and practise, Conscious Breathing training and practise, then an introduction to Forest Bathing combined with Observational Drawing (an optional activity to encourage concentration and an appreciation of nature / wonder.)
Then we have some dance (I play the Pipe and Tabor and lead everyone in a joyful and hilarious dance around the garden and back into the hall.) This is to remind everyone of the importance of movement and fun.
As part of the initial Welcome as everyone settles around the table with a hot drink or glass of juice - Refreshments, partucuoabts fill in the firsp part of the Feedback Form, including a record of how stressed they are at the start of the event. We often play an Ice-Breaker Game. Then I start the 'Teacherly' part of the workshop - with Mindfulness and Conscious Breathing, Forest Bathing, Concentration, Wonder, Physical Activity (in the form of Dance) and Laughter are the stress-reducing strategies employed so far.
On returning to the Hall we sit in a circle and share our experiences and our drawings. This is a good opportunity for Positive Social Contact and deepening the relationships, as I usually ask people to share in pairs or threes before we feedback to the group and put the drawings up on the wall as a Gallery.
Next I introduce the importance of 'Soulful Creativity' in reducing stress and depression, and explain why Silk-Painting is such a good Mindfulness Activity. I demonstrate two styles of silk-painting and then everyone creates their own hand-painted silk scarf, using colours and styles of their choice.
As the silk-painting is completed we clear the table and then introduce our Maestro Cello Player. There are cushions and rugs and everyone is encouraged to curl up on the carpets and relax. The aim is not just to relax our physical body but to give time and space for our mind to relax and allow all the activities we have engaged in, all the strategies we have been learning, to settle in our mind. It is an opportunity for each person to reflect on the unique way that these strategies may be of value in their own personal situation.
While everyone is resting, my Team clear away all the silk-painting materials and set out a full vegetarian Feast.
Visualisation - Light Oneness and Gratitude.
As everyone settles around the table but before we start to eat, I lead a visualisation which focusses on Light, Oneness and Gratitude. Then we all enjoy the meal together.
There are other activities, one on the meaning of colours, one on the values and principles which matter to us and give our lives direction and one is to reflect on where we find our own source of inner strength and peace. Our shrine has symbols and pictures from nature and from all the great religions. Each person draws or chooses a little flower-drawing and places it beside one of the items on the 'shrine' which they feel would connect them to God (if they are a theist) or to their own heart of peace and happiness if they struggle with or reject the concept of God.
We include these activities - the Shrine and Values at the start of the workshop after the welcome and refreshments, the Colours after the Gallery and before the silk-painting, but they are flexible according to time constraints. with a small group we can do everything but with ten or more, and especially if there's a lot of translation required (most participants are now Ukrainian refugees) then some have to be left out.
The first of these workshops was in September 2021. In February 2022, in response to the war in Ukraine, I made them free - in solidarity with refugees worldwide - and in 2023 I established my Community Interest Company (Ultimate Stress Solutions CIC) so that I can apply for grants to fund these workshops. Anyone can register free but I just invite those who are not refugees - and who wish to contribute to the costs - to make a donation.
As a CIC, I need to have a paid corner for my business, so that profits can be used for the charitable wing. I had been working as a Mindfulness-Based Happiness Coach since the early days of my work in reducing stress and depression, working with friends who were going through difficult times and taking what short courses in coaching I could fit in with my other activities. In 2020-2021 I followed Shamash Aladina's 100-Hour Mindfulness Training which is when I became an accredited Mindfulness Teacher and member of the CMA. As I reflected on what 'niche' to focus on, my natural choice was students and teachers because my whole profession has been in the field of education and I have seen and experienced just how much staff and students alike can suffer from stress in that world.
Because my work is holistic and includes a strong spiritual element, I choose to work with students of 18 or over. I feel that they are mature enough and independent enough to make their own decisions when it comes to directing their lives - and if they can become stronger and wiser, then they will take this forward into their entire adult lives, in work and in their family, so empowering more people. I love working with all age-groups and in my workshops I have families with children of four years and over - right into their 80's and 90's. But for the one to one coaching, although I often do work with older people, I am focussing on students.
It is with this expansion of my coaching work, that I am inspired to get some training with you as I have been using an approach which is strongly informed by Compassionate Inquiry for years. I am particularly interested in the Suicide Attention as I have often worked with people who are depressed and inclined to have thoughts of suicide. Indeed my best friend in the early 2010's would often talk about this and I would ask her to write those thoughts down and then fold the paper into a boat and float it down a stream or dissolve it in water. I did not want to listen to these thoughts myself but I felt she needed to express them and let them go.
I worked with her for many months and she made a full recovery. She was just getting excited as her own entrepreneurial dreams began to take shape when she developed cancer. It killed her within a few months. I feel it could have been caused by the strong desire she had while depressed to die. She was just in so much emotional pain she sometimes found it unbearable. I really wish I had known more about how to coach someone with suicidal thoughts at that time.
So one way or another I would LOVE to join any one of your programmes. I would happily put in the time and effort to be a model student - but I simply do not have any funds to pay for such training at the moment. Can you pass this email to Gabor and see if he can offer me either a big bursary or a long payment scheme which I can afford. My pension is absolutely minimal and I don't pay myself anything as Managing Director of Ultimate Stress Solutions because I depend on the 'benefits' support to help with my rent while I am learning how to apply for grants and get my business into a stronger position.
Thank You for reading all this,
And Thank You all for the great work you are doing.
Sincerely
DurgaMata
My Workshop Link is - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/mindfulness-joy-silk-painting-joyful-and-empowering-tickets-787520183067
and my website is - https://ultimatestresssolutions.org
I have yet to write the blog about last Sunday's Mindfulness-Joy Silk-Painting Workshop in full, but I will upload some of the photos. The previous blog is about Gaza and Ramadan -