Week Ending 9th July 2023
Last Saturday there was a Health and Wellness Fair in Richmond. I had a stall selling my Hand-Painted Silk-Scarves - and I gave two Workshops on Mindfulness.
Both workshops were well received and in the feedback, several people mentioned how they found the poem I shared helpful. It was a very short poem by my spiritual Teacher Sri Chinmoy -
22.
Perfect happiness is
Enthusiasm minus
Expectation.
Sri Chinmoy, The God of the mind
I find this poem very helpful because it is so simple. Whenever I notice that my 'happiness-dial' is 'getting low' I will think, 'What is affecting my enthusiasm just now?' Often it is that I am physically tired or hungry. I think of my body as a little kid. It is my responsibility to make sure it is well cared for. Then it can be strong for me.
When it comes to expectation, it may be that I am under pressure from the expectations of others, especially if it relates to family or work. Then I remember what Brene Brown has discovered to be true, through her extensive research - 'The most compassionate people have 'boundaries of steel.' If possible I apply that rule.
If the expectations are my own unrealistic demands on my time or strength, then I try to step back a bit and give myself some positive attention. It is not possible to be happy all the time because all kinds of situations can arise which affect us. We need to give ourselves time to see what is going on. This is where mindfulness can be so valuable. Just sit quietly and see what physical sensations are in our body, what emotions may be welling up or sweeping through our body and mind, what thoughts are coming into our mind and how they may be affecting our mood. If we have suffered a recent argument or bereavement, then it will affect our happiness and we need to give ourselves time and the love and compassion to work through it. Just sit and observe. You can wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself some love. I sometimes rub my hands together to create warmth from the friction and hold them against my face. Often I will simply turn my mind to my breath and practise conscious breathing.
When we are stressed then we lose our happiness. If we fight this and beat ourselves up for not being able to work at our best, then we compound the problem. Mindfulness helps us to recognise what is going on and causing the stress. It also helps us to respond in a way which reduces the impact that the stressor is having on our happiness.
Reduce stress by using some of the best proven strategies - physical exercise, positive social contact, time in nature - especially around trees, soulful creative activity, soulful music, mindfulness practises, conscious breathing and meditation are some of the most effective approaches. Our stressors usually come from the outer world and we have no control of them, but we can control how we respond to them. If we can cultivate a 'gratitude-attitude' that can change the way we feel about what is happening. Someone might say it's dishonest to say 'gratitude' when you don't feel grateful, but in my experience it is an act of courage. It redirects our attention to notice some of the great blessings that we are enjoying all the time. Gratitude for life itself, for the Universe and the air we breathe, for our capacity to experience anything at all.... Gratitude is a way to recognise and appreciate all our blessings. I see it as a form of love for The Universe itself, for the Creator - for God or Allah, The Brahman, The Force or what ever name by which we may address 'That which is Beyond our Comprehension, The Ultimate Reality, the Truth of Life and Existence Itself.
My mother was constantly positive and cheerful but in her late 90's she became blind and developed a very painful leg ulcer. She continued to be as independent as possible and often made a joke of her situation. But one morning, when my sister phoned, mum said, 'I woke up this morning feeling a bit depressed.' This was completely out of character and my sister was about to reply when Mum said, 'So I thought to myself, who can I go and cheer up today?' That was her response to depression.
My son also works in the field of health and wellbeing, Inspired by his beloved grandmother he developed a strategy which he calls 'hunting and harvesting joyful encounters.'
We are all part of each other so one of the best ways of increasing our happiness really is to find ways in which we can bring more joy to the lives of others. It brings a great sense of satisfaction. It reignites our heart's 'enthusiasm flame' and puts all our expectations into perspective.
All this comes from a reflection on the simple poem 'Perfect Happiness is Enthusiasm Minus Expectation.'
If there are genuine reasons for you to be feeling sad, simply recognising and accepting that and 'sitting with yourself as a friend' can really make a difference. Journalling is another valuable strategy which helps us to better understand what is causing our problems, our emotions our lack of happiness. We can better understand what is going on and distances ourselves from the cause, getting things into a clearer perspective, accepting what may be going on, in a gentle and compassionate way. Then we will not just react to the situation (in an emotional way which often makes things worse.) We can choose our response. Now stress is no longer swamping us. The clouds of stress are dissolving and our inner sun of happiness can shine more brightly, warming our own heart and the lives of all who we encounter.
The second poem which I will share here was emailed to me this morning by my sister. She is a Quaker. We all grew up within the Quaker Church and it remains close to my heart, but while I have in no way turned away from my Quaker (a Christian denomination) 'roots' I find that my own meditation practise (as a student of Sri Chinmoy) is all I need in the way of spiritual discipline. It is so important to find our own best source of regular spiritual nourishment.
Here is the lovely poem that my sister shared with me today -
The poem is by Peter Juler:
Slow me down, Lord!
Ease the pounding of my heart
By the quieting of my mind.
Steady my harried pace
With a vision of the eternal reach of time.
Give me,
Amidst the confusions of my day,
The calmness of the everlasting hills.
Break the tensions of my nerves
With the soothing music Of the singing streams
That live in my memory.
Help me to know
The magical power of sleep,
Teach me the art
Of taking minute vacations Of slowing down
To look at a flower;
To chat with an old friend Or make a new one;
To pat a stray dog;
To watch a spider build a web;
To smile at a child;
Or to read a few lines from a good book.
Remind me each day
That the race is not always to the swift;
That there is more to life Than increasing its speed.
Let me look upward
Into the branches of the towering oak
And know that it grew great and strong
Because it grew slowly and well.
Slow me down, Lord,
And inspire me to send my roots deep
Into the soil of life's enduring values
That I may grow toward the stars
Of my greater destiny.
I hope you enjoy these poems and find them of value. The secret is to use them in a reflective way. Remember that 'We can't pour from an empty jug' and take action to replenish your inner peace and happiness. Mindfulness, Meditation and reflecting on your life in a quiet way, using journaling and poetry are all excellent ways of nourishing your heart and soul.
The poem my sister shared will help with that. I love where it says -
Teach me the art
Of taking minute vacations Of slowing down
To look at a flower;
To chat with an old friend Or make a new one;
To pat a stray dog;
To watch a spider build a web;
To smile at a child;
Or to read a few lines from a good book.
This is pure Mindfulness. What other examples of mindful activities might you add to this list?
In my Talks at the Wellness Fair I recommended that we aim to find the opportunity for several two minute Mindfulness Practises, each day. I call them 'micro-practises.' But as this poem reminds us, we can gain benefit from simply taking a minute out to notice where we are and what is around us. We can even benefit from micro-practises which are only a few seconds long.
Many people find this kind of micro-practise is more effective than trying to sit for ten or fifteen minutes in silence, because our mind really is (as the Buddha said) like a Drunk Monkey. It tends to get bored and restless when we sit for long, but it doesn't seem to 'feel threatened' by practises which are two minutes or less. And the more we practise, the better we get at calming the mind and finding those precious moments when we can rise above all the crazy things that are happening in the outer world.
Do share your experiences of reflecting on the poems and whatever strategies you find that enable you to 'surf the waves of stress' (which relentlessly roll up on the shores of our lives) so that you can grow in resilience and live with more Inner Peace and Happiness.
I wish you all a very Happy Week.
Love and Peace - from DurgaMata